lemomina: (Default)
[personal profile] lemomina
Title : Unsaid emotions
Characters : Sylar / Elle , Noah , Angela
Rating : R
Disclaimer : I Don't own the character .
Summary : After Elle gets fired her powers starts to go out of control and she is forced to go back to the company .
Warnings : AU-ish ,Dark theme and DUB-CON but with Happy ending ( I swear )
A/N1 :
Thanks to my Beta [info]bellonablack for Helping out XD * give you a basket of cookies*
A/N 2: [info]do_you_like_pie Other than the fact that you are my #1 on my AWESOME LIST , You also make my writing and Life better *hugs*
A/N 3: This is dedicated to [profile] force_oblique , Happy Birthday Sweetie , I know its a late gift and a sad one ( Dark fics should never be birthday presents ) but I like this fic so much ( and i'm proud of it ) so i hope you enjoy it too XD

“I hate you, you fucking asshole,” she screams when she sees him coming.

She hates him for killing her father, for locking her up in this damn Company, and for fucking her whenever he pleased. "I hate you, you scumbag Petrelli," she screams again at him when he enters her cell. She hits him when he reaches out to touch her. She slaps him. She zaps him, and he keeps coming.

"Get away from me! I don't want you," she tells him angrily. "I'm not consenting to this, you creepy rapist.” At that, he slaps her.

But she wasn't surprised. They have been slapping each other for a while now. She keeps telling him that, but he ignores her because they both know she is lying. Whenever he kisses her, she eagerly kisses him back. When she comes, she moans his name ‘Gabriel’.

And maybe that's why she hates him , because she can't stop herself from wanting him

***
Elle sat in her cell, wondering how the hell things turned out this way.

How was Sylar out there, bossing everyone around, and she was trapped here in a fucking cell?

How did she let the man who had killed her father fuck her whenever he liked and worse, how could she like it when he did?

But at least fucking him had gotten her some privileges: she had a bed, which was way better than a cot, and she was in a better room, like the one the younger Petrelli had once had. As ugly as the room was, she didn't hate it as much as she hated herself. She had been weak, vulnerable, and submissive for him over the feelings she had had for Gabriel, the shy watchmaker.

Gabriel who had become a crazy serial killer because of her.

***
"You have to get him under control,” . Noah said in an angry voice, pacing around Angela Petrelli’s office.

“You can't let him get away with this. We brought her here because she couldn't control her power, not so she could be your son's mistress"

"He is a big boy, Noah. It’s his personal life. I can't intervene in it. I'm trying to keep his mind off killing people. If that means letting him sleep with Elle Bishop, then so be it. " Angela replied coldly

He knew she had a point. One person’s life versus thirty people’s lives: the choice was obvious. At the same time, giving him Elle Bishop on a silver platter just to keep him in line was still wrong. No one deserved that, not even Elle. He tried to push his emotions aside, but days later, he was still unsettled. Noah decided that he would find the right time to talk to Sylar, Gabriel, or whatever the hell his name was these days. And today was the right time. They had just finished a successful bag and tag assignment, and things between them were going better than usual. Gabriel was heading to her room when Noah called out to him, “You shouldn't be doing this. Not even she deserves to be treated this way.”

As much as Noah disliked her, he was a father. He would never want to see something like this happen to his daughter. Elle may not be the best person, but she had no one to stand up for her.

"You don't know what you are talking about. I'm not taking anything she isn't willing to give.”

"Really? Is that what you tell yourself to make it seem better? Do you think she really wants to sleep with you? The man who murdered her father gruesomely and then almost killed her …even Elle is not that fucked up.”

"She wants me," Sylar snapped at him and turned around.

"She may have wanted the watchmaker, but that’s not you anymore," Noah said in a calm, steady voice, trying to keep control of the situation. "If what you are saying is true, then let me talk to her. Let me hear it with my own ears!” he shouted after him, but Sylar kept heading to her room as if their conversation hadn’t happened.

***

She was lying on the bed when he came in.

She sighed but didn't say anything. She was too tired to shout or fight today. Instead she stared at the ceiling, waiting to see what he would do.

No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, Sylar was affected by his conversation with Noah. Deep down, he knew that Noah was probably right, but he didn't want to admit it, not even to himself. He wanted her and couldn't help the way she had made him feel from the first time he had seen her.

She had revived his almost dead life. In more ways than one. He stretched out next to her on bed, buried his face in her hair (he had always loved the way it smelled), and put one arm around her. She felt him play with a strand of her hair, and she repressed a shiver. His stillness unnerved her. This wasn't the usual routine, but she remained silent.

Sylar played with her hair and started to rub her stomach gently with the hand that was around her waist. Elle knew he was waiting for a response from her, but she did nothing. He didn't know if that made him feel better, wanted, or made him feel worse that she was too broken to fight back as she usually did.

As he continued to rub her stomach, to be so gentle, she couldn't take it anymore.

She somehow was used to the sex and all. It gave her another reason to hate him, to think of him as just a selfish bastard, but what he was doing now made her think of Gabriel. Made her get softer. She didn't want that.

She reminded herself that she had loved Gabriel, but Gabriel was dead. The man lying next to her was nothing like her Gabriel. "What the fuck are you doing? Are we cuddling now?” she snapped at him .She really wasn't in the mood for a fight today. Yet with his behavior, she couldn't help it.

When he didn’t reply she scoffed at him "Well? Are you going to fuck me tonight or what? If you’re not going to, then leave. You’re boring ." she said knowing that it will piss him off . He looked at her with a frown, his eyes darkening. Elle thought he was about to leave as his shoulders tensed… but then he stayed there.

And fucked her as usual.

***

When Elle woke up early the next morning, he was still there lying to next her.

She found that odd. He had never stayed the night with her, and she wondered what the hell had gotten into him.

What had made him act all mushy like that out of nowhere? She thought about waking him up, but that might lead to another fight. Instead, she tried to go back to sleep, not having anything better to do anyway.

She felt him stir and sit up in the bed. She continued to lay there pretending as if he wasn’t there. She thought she felt his hand ghost over her shoulder and hover there, hesitating. Then she heard him get dressed and leave.

***

When he had woken up, he saw that Elle was sleeping as far from him as she could, something that saddened him a bit. He went to touch her, but then he got dressed as fast as he could and left instead .

As he wandered the halls, he started thinking again about what had Bennet told him, about what had happened last night, and about what had happened in the morning.

He had always had his doubts, but he had ignored them, wanting to believe that what he was doing wasn't wrong. That she had wanted him…

After what Bennet had told him, he couldn't ignore his doubts anymore. He met Bennet on his way to his room, and Bennet gave him the "I'm Very Disappointed in You” look. After a tense moment, Bennet told him to get ready for their new assignment.

They drove in silence, and Noah's glances spoke for themselves. He didn't need to say what he was thinking out loud for Sylar to get it. Sylar stayed quiet, thinking about her, about what he was going to do with her. He wanted her so much, but he couldn’t just keep putting his needs, his desires, above others’, especially if he was going to redeem himself and gain respect from his family and his partner.

He needed to be a better person and put an end to his hunger: not only his hunger for powers but his hunger for her. He wasn't planning on what happened last night. He went there just to be next to her, but he couldn't control himself, couldn’t control his need to touch her.

To be with her, to be in her… "We’re here," Noah said suddenly, and Sylar snapped out of his thoughts. At Noah’s look, Sylar only nodded, and the two got out of the car . When they got back to Primatech late that night with their target bagged and tagged, safely in a cell, he thought about going to see her, but he quickly pushed that thought from his mind.

He couldn’t do what he had done yesterday, and he knew going there would only make things worse. If he couldn’t control himself around her, then he shouldn't be around her until he got control.

***

Initially Elle found it odd that he didn't show up that night, or the nights following, but then she got way too sick to care.

She had been spending most of her days in the bathroom, vomiting.

She couldn't keep anything in her stomach, and she got nauseous just from the smell of food.

Luckily for her, Noah was there for her. He had started to visit her not long after Sylar had stopped. She was pretty sure these two events weren’t unrelated.

He brought her the medicine -the medicine they gave her to help control her power- whenever he wasn't busy, and he tried to make her feel safe, telling her that Sylar wouldn’t hurt her like that again, that he would make sure of it.

She cried when he told her that, cried and wiped her tears on his shoulders. She didn't know why she was crying. Was it from happiness that she had finally gotten rid of him, or was it from the fact that she would be missing him and his touch no matter how much it made her hate herself?

***

It was another one of those damned days.

She was in the bathroom, vomiting like usual, and heard a knock on the door. Someone came in, and she didn’t look up, thinking that Noah, as usual, had come in to check on her. But the hands that held her hair away from her face weren't Noah's.

They were his. She could feel how different his touch was from Noah's. She flinched away quickly, and he took his hands off of her.

She didn't want him there. She didn't want him to see her like this, all weak and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you,” he said in a low voice, and she turned to look at him. He wore his glasses now, and he looked so much more like Gabriel than Sylar and it made her cringe.

He was making it harder to hate him, she thought.

"I heard that you were sick, and I wanted to check on you. How are you doing now?"

"How the fuck do you think I'm doing?! I'm fucking vomiting every ten minutes. I practically live in the bathroom," she snapped.

She wanted to provoke him, to make him hit her like before. She wanted to get him angry enough to use his powers on her. Anything that would make hating him easier.

But he didn't.

He simply wished for her to get better soon and left her to rest.

***

Elle had started crying endlessly when Noah told her the news.

He told her why she had been feeling like this, why she was vomiting all the time. She was pregnant with Sylar’s child, a child that wasn't made with love but rather with selfishness from both its parents, and Elle couldn't take that.

She couldn't take the idea of having a child that didn't only have such fucked up parents but that was also made from hatred. Luckily, Gabriel was on a solo mission, and he wasn't due to be back for less than a week. She stopped taking whatever pills they were giving her to control her power.

She was going to end this, once and for all. No more struggling, no more cages, and no more Gabriel, and she needed all the power she had to make it happen. After the nurse left her room, she went to the bathroom and started filling the tub with water.

She knew Noah was on a mission today too. No one would be coming to check on her anytime soon. After the tub had been filled, she got in it, still wearing her Pajamas.

She sat there, crying, trying to get her act together. It was the hardest decision anyone could ever make in their life: the decision to die, to end their life.

But she kept telling herself that she was strong enough to do it, to choose death to put an end to her oh-so-fucking miserable life.

So she did.

The last thing Elle Bishop remembered before everything went black was that day with Gabriel, when she sat next to him on the floor and held his hands, telling him how special he was just the way he is.

***

Little did Elle know, she didn't have as much control of her life as she had thought.

She woke up not knowing what day was it. She was in another room, strapped to the bed, with an IV in her arm and some other machines beeping. And she was with him. He was sitting…no, sleeping in a chair beside her bed, holding her numb hand with his big, worm hands.

He was holding her hand, and the sight of him like that made tears slip from her eyes.

He woke up at the sound of her crying, and he went closer to her and caressed her cheeks. Brushing the tears from her face, he kissed her forehead. “It’s all going to be okay. Don't worry. I’ll take care of you. We will fix your power, and it won't happen again,” he whispered and then hugged her.

She started weeping when he said that, when he hugged her. He thought it was an accident, that she lost control over her power again and had electrified herself. "You lost the baby," he said with sadness in his voice. “But the important thing is that you are alive and okay. Nothing else matters.

She couldn't take it, misleading him like this. She hated who she was, for what she had done to others, and more importantly, for what she had done to him.

She had given him another chance at living, and she wanted to right her wrongs and start with a clean slate, one without the lying, deceiving, or killing. She pulled away from him, and he looked up, confused.

She did her best to look directly into his eyes, his pretty brown eyes that were hidden behind his glasses. Now, he both looked and acted like his old self.

"It wasn't an accident,” she said quietly. She at first wondered if he had even heard her, but the look in his eyes told her that he had. "My power wasn’t out of control. I got into the tub and electrified myself.” She took a deep breath and continued, “On purpose."

There was a horrified silence that lasted for what seemed like hours, but it was only a minute before he started talking.

"And the baby…Did you know that you were pregnant?” he asked, his voice broken, but all she could do was nod. He suddenly let go off her hands and moved away from her, facing the door.

“Did you hate me that much? So much that you’d try to kill yourself to get rid of my child? Was I that oblivious?"

Elle didn't need to see his face to know that he was upset. She could hear it in his voice, in Gabriel's voice, one he hadn’t used for years.

"I did it because I hated myself. I hated how weak I had become, how vulnerable I was. I hated how, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't hate the man who killed my father and then tried to kill me,” Elle explained in a sullen tone because she had tried. She really had tried.

He turned to face her, his eyes filled with sadness and confusion and she couldn't help but feel disgusted with herself

She didn't hate him as he had thought she did. “And the baby? Did you want it?” he asked, desperately, and it seemed to Elle like he needed to know. He needed to know that she had wanted his child.

Elle knew how hard that would be for him to hear, but she had to tell him the truth for the sake of them. Maybe they could actually be together.

"No," she paused and then continued. "It wasn't made out of love. It was made out of our selfish acts, out of lust. It wasn't pure, and it would have turned out like us. It wouldn’t have been innocent like it’s supposed to be.”

“Right.” he said with a sad tone and nodded . It would have been bad to have a baby that way, but the thought she wanted a child with him, but yet killed the one they had, played repeatedly in his mind “I am glad to see you are awake,” he said softly and then turned toward the door, walking out on her. He had a lot he needed to process and being around her wasn’t the answer right now.

Elle sat there flabbergasted that he had left and started to sob. She just knew that she’d lost him for good now, and she rolled over on her side, biting her lip. Hard.

A few days later, she was released and brought back to her room. She was still on bed rest for a bit, which meant no field assignment. Noah still came by, but no sign of him .

She just knew that whatever they once had died with the unborn child. Yet when her thoughts drifted that way, she pushed them out of her mind.

***

About a week and half went by and he finally decided it was time to see her. He was able to processes everything.

Gabriel knocked on her door, and when she didn’t answer, he pulled it open to find her asleep on the bed. He frowned as he looked at her, not wanting to wake her up but wanting her to know he was there.

He wasn't convinced by what she had said before, but he was sure that she was in that strangely dark mind of hers. He had heard that she wasn't always stable and judging by her actions, he was sure she wasn’t. He wondered if he should have never left her alone.

He walked over to the bed, sat down, and lifted a strand of hair of blonde hair, rubbing it in between his fingers.

He could love her if she would let him.

He sat on the bed, his fingers still rubbing the strands of hair between his fingers, not sure what to do or say. He could fuck her like the past, but he was better than that now. He was no longer Sylar. And they owed themselves more than that. It would be best if he left.

He let go of the strand of hair, stood up, and walked to the door.

***

She felt the shift of weight on her bed and knew it was him.

He was the only one who would walk in and sit down like that.

She had lain still, wondering if maybe he was going to wake her. She had wondered if he was going to go back to that old routine. Elle hadn’t been sure if she could handle that anymore, but would she say no? Probably not. This was a chance to be with him…and she wanted to be with him.

Instead, he was leaving her again!

As she heard him go towards the door, her heart started to break and her eyes fluttered open. “Don’t go,” she said in a plain voice and then whispered, “Please.”

He turned to look at her, his eyes glancing up her body and then settling on her face. “I’ll come back when you are more awake,” he offered quickly, backing away.

“No,” she said as she rolled over to look at him. “If you leave, you’ll never come back. Stay,” she ordered now. “Don’t leave me again, stay,” she repeated, and this might be an act of desperation, but she wanted him. Sometimes weakness can get you what you want as well as strength.

He stood there and moved a few steps toward her, hesitant.

“I...” he whispered. “You want me to stay forever?”

Gabriel wanted that as well; they had just never talked about it. Now he saw why since he couldn’t express it.

“Yes,” she insisted as she sat up on the bed. “I don’t want to be without you anymore. I’ve been through so much alone, and I needed you the whole time.” If he had actually talked to her like they were doing now, perhaps none of this would have happened .

She felt foolish, but it was true. “Come put you arms around me. I’m yours if you want me.”

He blinked down at her, surprised by her candour.

“Elle…I want you, but you deserved better than what I had been offering.” He didn’t want to hurt her anymore. He didn’t want her to get pregnant and kill the child again, but he couldn’t stay away.

As much as he had tried to, he couldn’t.

“Gabriel, shut up,” Elle told him heatedly, standing up“ I deserve what I want and that’s you.” She sighed. “Haven’t you noticed?” she asked, looking at him strangely. “Why do you think I…” she stopped, unable to finish.

He closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

“But what if you get…pregnant again?” he asked, eyes searching her face, looking for something. Gabriel didn’t want the same thing to happen. Granted, her reasoning was valid, but it had still been their child.

Elle leaned against him, her face pressed against his chest.

“We could always try to have another one if you think you could handle being a father," she said in a ghost of old playful tone. She leaned up and kissed him softly.

Gabriel wasn’t sure what he had just agreed to as he dumbly nodded his head.

“Only if it was made out of love," he said back against her lips as he kissed her passionately. Then he brought his hands up to her face, making her look at him. “Don’t ever do that again.”

She simply nodded with a smile on her face, a genuine one, and brought his face closer for another kiss.

on 2009-06-01 03:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] di-elle.livejournal.com
you know I like it and I like what you changed in the ending part from the one you showed me.
You'll right to be proud of this!

on 2009-06-01 03:33 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
I 'm soo Happy that you liked the new ending , i followed your advice ;D and i'm glad that i did

Aww , Thanks Hun XD

on 2009-06-01 06:27 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] catyuy.livejournal.com
Very nice

on 2009-06-01 08:10 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
Oh , Thanks :)

Glad you enjoyed it

on 2009-06-03 07:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] force-oblique.livejournal.com
OMG!!
I loved this Lemmy!!
Not only is your description amazing but you had me in tears but the fourth paragraph!!

It was so sad in the beginning like they were stuck in a vicious circle and they could never get away but gradually they both matured and learned from their mistakes!!
Awws poor Elle she lost the baby and with it her purpose and she needed Sylar so much!
And Sylar... so much in fight with himself and Gabriel.

I am so happy they decided to stay together in the end!! <3

Thanks so much for writing this for me bb!
It is honestly one of the most heart-breaking Syelle fics I have ever read! <3

on 2009-06-03 07:45 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
The Tears part was intended
I'm sooo Happy that you liked it because its probably the last thing i will write ^_^

I should have mentioned the happy ending part in the summary ( maybe i will )

<33

on 2009-06-03 08:09 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] force-oblique.livejournal.com
Heeh, I am glad you succeeded then bb! lol
The last thing? Why?
Exams?
Yipie!

on 2009-06-03 08:11 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
No , i decided that i won't write again even after the exams

on 2009-06-03 07:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] force-oblique.livejournal.com
And I am sorry for making you a sad panda...
I havent been feeling well! :(

on 2009-06-03 07:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
Oh its okay Hun , there are other things and people who are making me a sad Panda !

on 2009-06-03 08:10 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] force-oblique.livejournal.com
Awws!
i didn't know that hun!
Anything I can help you with?
*hugs*

on 2009-06-03 08:13 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
Having you as a good friend is enough ^_^

* Hugs back *

on 2009-06-04 12:37 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rimjobs.livejournal.com
this is amazing. the scene with sylar/gabriel? and elle after she tried to suicide was sooo heart wrenchingly good!

on 2009-06-04 08:26 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
Oh THANKS ^_^
I'm glad you enjoyed it

and elle after she tried to suicide was sooo heart wrenchingly good!
YAY - thats what i was aiming for XD - even if it makes me a mean person ,lol

on 2009-07-11 04:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] define-serenity.livejournal.com
And maybe that's why she hates him , because she can't stop herself from wanting him
that. so freaking true!

this is intense. i seriously love it

on 2009-07-11 04:40 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] lemomina.livejournal.com
YAY !
AM SO HAPPPY THAT YOU LIKE IT XD
Its my fave and the last one i wrote XD
So there is hope ?!

*happydance*

on 2009-07-11 04:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] define-serenity.livejournal.com
hope for what?

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